Friends matter.

I can't believe that I am so depressed because of that matter...

I had to write a test on Thursday, Physics. I wasn't really prepared because I don't really understand the concept of the theme. I went into class and felt really stupid. I should have not even be there in the first place.

Most of the participants are guys. Rebecca and I were the only females. The guys were really sweet as they wished me good luck. We were always required to observe a model experiment which will be based on in the test. After writting down my name, I read the questions over and over. It is really frustrating that I had questions from the questions or tasks stated on the paper. The test is supposed to last for 3 hours. I decided to pass my paper to my physics teacher instead of wasting my time sitting there doing nothing. Obviously, it is the first time of my life that I passed up an empty paper.

That was really embarassing but I prefer to save my time doing better things. I was shocked that Rebecca laughed in a sinister manner. Eventually the others like Lingan laughed too, perhaps just in a friendly manner. I don't really care what reaction others give but my friend, means a lot to me. My thoughts were only on this matter when I was in the computer room. I felt sad.

Before my favourite subject Biology, I went down to the small gathering hall. I saw Rebecca and I wanted to say Hi. She called out a name and walked by my side to the back. I thought she ignored me, but I was sure that she made at least 2 eye contacts with me. I was bothered and I couldn't concentrate in biology class. I didn't even talk or greet Amadeus. I told about my problems to Nilam, a girl from Afghanistan. She was really caring and nice. She noticed how lifeless I was during the lesson. The most unbelievable thing was that I actually cried. That happens usually when I am mentally weak.

Nilam was really nice that she comforted me. It helped to stop my tears flowing but I needed time to recover. I went home like a zombie. The most depressing part is that I had to cook my own lunch and I had no one to talk to. Kate was invited to a cake and tea birthday party. She left directly after my arrival home. It took me like one and a half hour to cook instead of 30 minutes. I wasn't in good form. Food and utensils fell consequently on the ground or on the stove. Nothing tasted although Kate told me that the food I cooked tasted really good.

After my late lunch, I needed somebody to talk to. I talked to Tom and  Karen. I missed Karen so much. I realised that she is the only friend that cares and helps out a lot. Really fun,understanding and hilarious person. The most important part is that we understand each other well. I had a really long talk with her in our broken and confused accented Manglish. I felt so much better. I would really like to spend time with her after flying back to my first home.  I talked to Tom about my problem and suprisingly he has a bigger problem. I feel sorry for him. He spends most of his time with exchange students instead of his friends in school or to be definitive, the germans. Not only that, he had problems with his family. I had to look up to his ability to withstand such pressure and situation at home. He had to even sign the SA.  He told me that I have to be grateful for the friends I have. He advised me to get things cleared instead of having unneccessary doubts.

I explained to Kate and she was really caring. She felt sorry for me. I felt even worse. We spent the night watching a thriller, Bourne Supremacy which in the end casted a sleeping spell on me. It was really funny to know why she don't watch thrillers or reason why my siblings feel embarassing bringing her to the cinemas. It wasn't that thrilling to me. She made so much noises like 'ooh', 'Sxi..', Auwa..','No..' or 'eh..'. She was so excited, especially the part where Jason Bourne had to drive a car recklessly across the streets to avoid the polices which in turn caused a chaos in town. The funniest part is that she covers her eyes when people tackled.

I was dog tired. I went to sleep without doing anything for my next day in school. I realised how friends matters to me.