Monday, I had only 2 periods of maths and it was cancelled. I went to school for nothing and I had to travel around 2 hours to and fro. I went home as early as I could so that I am able to catch Jamie and Kate before they keave to the stores. I love and enjoy going to the store. I wonder why Kate doesn't bring me there as usual anymore. Perhaps I was too slow and I have problems in making desicions in buying food. After that, Kate rushed back home in order to prepare food for them. I was really fine with the time but Kate was so stressed up with the time. I was totally disturbed. Gong Joo and jamie are going for climbing with Peter and I have to join Sports. Then Kate decided that we eat leftovers, there wasn't a problem. I was so tired and she was forcing me to finish the rest of the spahetti sauce on my rice. I didn't want it. She insisted on putting the rest on my plate although I already said no. I was so angry, I couldn't control my emotions anymore. Gong Joo saw that really clearly. I was totally in a bad mood. I can't even smile properly. Sports wasn't much of a fun and it was the last. I didn't get a right group and the people didn't pass the ball to me. I didn't have much fun. After that, I went to the book store and bought a book as a souvenier. I had a major problem my emotion, I was trying to buy food to feel better. I failed and bought a prezel. I went for choir and sang. There wa this solo part in a piece, I would really like to sing it but German was not my mother language and I am still learning, so after the first attempt, the conducter suggested that another soprano sings it. I felt embarrassed because I was nervous and not to mention that it was too sudden, I wasn't prepared. I couldn't control my emotions and I ignored Kate. She was stuffing things to me and I seriously didn't want it because it is of no use to me. Perhaps it is not the best way of telling her how much I don't like her way of making other people do what she want, but I was really tired and it has already reached my limits. When we were walking home to the house, I was trying to make the situation better hoping that she doesn'T realise it. It was too obvious and she asked whether it is true that I am really angry at her. I said no and give my lethargy as an excuse because I know that if I tell her the truth now, I know how much worse the situation could get. I would have said things that I didn't mean to. Then I had no mood or hunger to eat. I didn't know that Gong Joo prepared food for me for dinner. I just simply went up to bed.
Tuesday, The first thing I have to do is to apologise to Kate for expressing how angry I was. Then I told her the reason why I was in a bad mood. She knew that all along and she told me that Gong Joo scolded her. She told me that she will not force me to finish up the food. I was trying my best to not let things go out of hand, she is really a nice lady and everybody has their weakness. Then I went to school again for nothing. I saw Amadeus and I spoke to him. He is really a nice person. I was suprised that he knew what happened in Malaysia. He thinks that the people are brave to demonstrate against the government. He went to the computer room and I was planning to stay with him but he had only the first 2 periods free. He suggested it is better if I go home, oh well, I went home for a nap. I had unfortunately the last 2 periods only. I went home and I slept because I got the muscle sore from the exercises I did in Sports lesson. Then I woke up and went for english lessons. I went to the classroom early with Amabeus. We had a long chat about things and stuffs. There are lots of people in Köln that are not locals or pure Germans. He is borned in Germany but his parents are from Polland. He told me that he could speak Pollish. It is really cool to know that he speaks alot of Pollish at home. He is also not like most of the students here, he don't really like carneval. Then he told me how much he likes chinese food like the duck and sups. During the break, he gave me a Duplo. I accepted it although I know it will spoil my diet plan but I would like to try it somehow. After lunch at home, I wanted to swim but the weather was just not warm enough for a dip in the pool. The weather was cloudy and I can't see the sun. Where is the sun when I need it? Then it drizzled for a short while. I weighed my self again and I was really dissappointed with myself. I lost one kg last week and it was back to normal again. I really had the urge to swim again. Then after the rain, I went out with the family to the playground near the stores. Kate saw this simple built in monkey bars and Kate told me that she used to lift herself up and hung herself upside down. I can't do it. Then I told her how my parents use to tell me that I should always hang myself so that the gravitational force will make me longer(taller). She laughed at it and told Gong Joo about that. Then she made fun of that statement and told me that my height is just nice, I don't need to be any taller. After that, we went to Aldi. She bought lots of sweets and food for her bread. Kate was a little worried for her. She told me that the things she bought is her Frustration pack.
On Wednesday, there wass a certificate conference going on among the teachers in school. Therefore, there was no school at all. I was at home doing what I would like to, no choir and no orchestra. It was really nice for me to stay at home on a rainy and cold day. I was invited to go to a concert by Angelina from A orchestra. She plays in the orchestra in Universität Köln. They are awesomely good. They played hollywood soundtrack pieces like ET, Star Track and Harry Potter. They played Magnificant 7 for the encore. It was really astounding for me to hear how good they are. It was really cold and I had to use the tram at 2330. I was lucky that there were still a handful of people waiting with me for the tram to arrive. I met Luisa in the concert and we talked during the break. She talks really fast. She explained to me that her mother is a german teacher that teaches mostly Asian people who comes to Köln to study Music or Psycology. Luisa does a great job in mimicking how the korean and Japanese people talk in German. She makes me laugh. A sweet girl but a little over reacting person.
On Thursday I had totally no school but I was there. I saw Anja and talked to her for quite a while. I felt really stupid that she told me that there was no school for the last 2 periods. I had to go home. In the afternoon I went to an Asian shop in Neumarkt with Marlene. On the way in the tram, both of us discussed about food. Then we talked about durian. She told me that she eats durian ice cream but not the durian. Then I thought about durian marmalade. I couldn't imagine how stomach filling that marmalade will be. Not to mention that the long lasting aroma. I was amazed by the things that they sell in the shop. It is owned by the chinese if I am correct. The stuffs and ingredients sold there are not as expensive as I thought. It was reasonable. I found vegetables that I usually eat in Malaysia. We bought what we need and went home together. She was really nice for driving me home. She even paid for the ingredients that I bought in the asia shop. I don't have to worry that much. On the same evening, we played mensch ärgert mich nicht. Gong joo told me how important it is to voice out our opinion to others and being strong to reject or to say No. She started telling me about that after she was arguing with Kate about the quality of wine she drinks. I prefered to say nothing and she started to talk about being strong. I really don't know whether I should voice out my opinions because if I did that at home in Malaysia, I would be in hot soup. However, I too find it better if I voice out my opinion.
On Friday, everything was normal I guess. I had to go for choir practice in the 2nd period and I missed the maths class. For the performance on Friday for the school's summer festival. Somebody told me that it is not as interesting as it was suppose to be because not all the students are taking part. However, it is obligatory for the students to be present on that day. There was stammtisch in the evening and I couldn't make it. I had to go for the full rehersal in St.Severins for the performance on Sunday. Kenric was so excited about it and he met up with lots of Malaysia returnees. It was totally tiring for me to practice the pieces, the pieces are relatively hard for me. On the way walking to the church with Kate, I saw this backery that is not like the others with franchise outlets. I was really curious about the quality of the bread sold there. Then Kate told me that I am allowed to buy a loaf for a try. It was totally satisfying. On the way home after the choir practice, my problems in singing is noticed by Dorothea. She told me that I was going flat when I tried to force the sound. I knew that somebody is going to notice it oneday. I felt a little embarassed. I can't wait to cook on Saturday and looking forward to what they will think about the food.
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