Okay, I find it really tedious to write down what happen everyday. Sometimes it is just that I rather do more things that sitting here to write. However when I think about it, it is also important that I reflect on what happenned so I can learn. Perhaps I shall do it in a simple way.
I had a piano performance on the Brahm's Intermezzo in school with the others. Obviously I didn't remember the center part due to the lack of practice. I felt lucky that I didn't bring my scores so it wasn't that obvious to those sitting there. Unfortunately, there is a boy form the 10th grade who heard this piece before. I improvised and made it totally like a modern piece. That is what happens when I don't practice. I got problems sitting with either Doro or Rebecca. I don't know with who to sit with. I feel really awkward. I have to make a decision. Doro is really a nice girl but she has a total different likings that I do. Rebecca and I have more things in common but sometimes I still feel that I need to spend more time to understand her. She is not really opening up to me yet. Perhaps it is the language, I have to really improve my German as soon as possible. She totally has the characteristic of a top student. She controls her emotions well. Before the performance, she told me how excited she was that her grandparents are here to support her. When the performance started, she was really stabil and calm, not even a sense of nervousness was shown. For Doro, she was really still and quiet all the time. She knows what she needs to do and gives really good support to others. Doro was really nice that she asked her mom whether she can send me home at night. It was considerably safe to me in Germany to go home in the evening and it was really bright for summer time. I was lucky. The other guys that performed as a band were totally awesome. It took sometime for me to believe that they are able to compose and perform so well. There were also those who performed spontaneously. It is a great difference between the people of the same age in Malaysia. Most of them have really good skills in their respective instrument. Cornelia sang really well too. Sometimes when I hear them play their pieces, I realised that it is not that Malaysian pianist are bad, it is just that the perpective that most of the people think that people or musicians from foreign countries are better. I find that if we personally are determined to work on something and puts full efforts into realising it, we can always be better than anybody. However, there is still a problem that most of the people in our country that don't appreciate or realise the efforts of what our musicians put into making their performances a success. Sometimes when people ask me for the reason I gave up on my dream of being a musician, I just have to answer that I can't just do music because it is a really tough carrier. Some people have the idea that it is easy in overseas but actually it is the same in every country.
Then, the next day when I was in school. Some of them are really suprised that I play the piano. They think I am brave to perform in a foreign country. ( Perhaps they realised that I was really nervous and I ruined it up) Anyhow, I decided that I will not do the same thing again if I am not determined into commiting my time to practice properly. Today Chor was really not so interesting because only a few members turned up. B orchestra was totally boring, they were most of the time discussing about which pieces that is appropriate for the competition and the children are making so much noise. I told myself that I have to join another better orchestra so that I will not waste my time. I got the guts to ask Frau Whitmann, the conductress incharge of the A orchestra. I felt lucky that I don't have to have an audition before I join them. Since Thursday was a holiday, I went to the Düsseldorf airport to pick Arlene up. Kate was really worried when she didn't come out early. Then when Arlene came out, she was really happy. Arlene was exactly the opposite of Kate. She is not as energetic as Kate and they don't really look that much alike. The way both of them think is also different. Perhaps it is what they had gone through in their lives.
On Thursday, it was a rainy day and Yvy came by to have breakfast with us. After awhile, neighbour Peter came by too. Then they talked about stuffs like how lucky they are to be the only daughters. Arlene told me that her father would really like to have a son to do things together, however, he didn't. The girls had the opportunity to do what a boy could do and learned alot. They even told me funny stories from the past. It was really nice to know how things were back then. I wonder if it would happen to me that I will have really good times to remember when I am old, and also repeat the same story again and again to the younger generations.
Then on Friday, I got my Biology paper back. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. I got a 4 for it, better than nothing for not studying. I could have got better marks if I had put in more effort to analse the question. Their questions are usually around analisations science is always about that. I have to pull my socks before it is too late for me to build the skills up again. I was glad that the teacher included me into the class so that I can participate and integrate into the class. Just to make sure that I wasn't dreaming, she asked me to repeat what the girl Valerie explained about the reason why photosynthesis will not work if the temperature is too hot. Then I explained in partially german and english. She laughed in a friendsly manner when I couldn't pronounce the word 'denaturieren' correctly. After that, Luisa next to me felt really sorry for me. because I had to explain the text, but when I think of it, it was something really interesting for me because I was having fun. When I arrived home, Kate and Arlene was busy with preparing the food for the late birthday party. I baked a cheese cake with red currants hidden in it. I joined the party Kate set up and met some of her friends, She has a large variety of friends. It was awesome to see how they react to things. Kate felt really embarassing for not being organised and not ready before the others came. For what I knew was that she did something else too. And I was the whole time upstairs preparing for the party and writting parts of the blog. It is only Arlene that couldn't speak German. The others got carried away and discussed in German. I felt really sorry for her. I tried to speak in English, then they spoke in English for a short while. It was better than nothing. Esther's mother Abreal speaks really good english. She sat next to me. She was really understanding and perhaps she speaks good in English and it is not a problem. Reinhild, a former soprano in Choir came by too. She speaks relatively good english. She brought me a present and a post card on it. It was gorgeous. She told me that it is something to help me to improve my German. It was really sweet of her. The funniest person was Ush. Kate's former neighbour and close friend. The way she talks and move makes you really nervous. She talks really fast and she seems worried all the time. She brought a cherry almond cake but was partly destroyed by her Cappucinno set. It fell over at the side of her cake while she was taking it out from her car. She is really loevly but really a worrier. She brought me a choocolate with a shape of a heart because I helped her out previously. I helped her to scan some stuffs to her son. She even brought me Glenn Gould recordings to burn. :) After eating, I went to the party that Hendrik told me that he will bring me along. We were suppose to meet at the tram station there but we met in the tram instead. I felt really awkward and I couldn't really speak much to him with other 2 girls around. Besides, he was against the general statement that the germans are punctual. He told me that it is not true. We went to the party fashionably late because he told me that the early birds have to help set the party up. Generally, It wasn't really a well planned party because most of them were drinking all the time. It wasn't that bad until I saw the food on the table. Unfortunately I didn't taste my cheese cake I brought as I was so attracted to the other food. Hendrik told me that I can leave with him if I want. It was totally difficult for me because he emphasizes that I can do whatever I want. He was definitely drunk. He didn't knew what he was doing. Then I got a ride home from Maria, a girl from the school and Doro came with her too. I am really lucky that I am able to have a ride home.
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